Avoiding assumptions and generalising
Assumptions and generalisations around sexuality were discussed in 11 comments (9% of the total comments). This includes assumptions about sexuality based on someone’s current partner, as well as assumptions about bi+ people’s behaviour and preferences based on stereotypes.
“Service providers (and people in general) need to stop assuming heterosexuality and gender normativity until told otherwise.”
“They view me as promiscuous and a risk for spread of diseases. My sexuality isn’t a danger to public health and it shouldn’t be treated as one.”
“For service providers to not make assumptions about sexual orientation based on current relationship or marital status.”
“Don’t assume I’m straight unless I say otherwise.”
- As service providers, be open to discussing people’s needs and experiences rather than making assumptions. Recognise that even in cases where no-one has openly discussed a particular identity or experience, this does not mean no-one in your user base identifies or behaves that way.
- Using impartially worded questions is a fundamental strategy for avoiding assumptions. Service providers should keep in mind that when individuals sense judgement, they become less willing to engage in honest and open conversations about their needs.
- Acknowledging and/or validating bi+ identities was suggested in eight comments. There was a call for more bi+ specific acceptance where LGBT+ groups and organisations are concerned, a place where bi+ people are meant to feel safe and included.
“The B is skipped over, it’s like we’re grouped together with homosexual monosexuals when our needs and experiences are different. Please just see us as we are. When we’re also neglected within the LGBT community, a rainbow flag isn’t enough assurance that you’d support us.”
“Ensure that language doesn’t erase bi identities. Validation of bi identities as not flipping between gay and straight depending upon who you are dating.”
“Recognition that bi men exist in straight relationships.”
“We need visibility. I am in a straight monogamous marriage but still definitely bi. This is totally unseen and there is total ignorance around it.”
- LGBT+ services specifically need to pay more than lip service to bi+ identities, including recognising that bi+ people may be in mixed gender relationships and will have different needs and experiences to lesbian or gay people, regardless of what relationships they are currently in.
